Missing Wife

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the Mounties.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."

The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband.
Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her."

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great
news???"

The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

Woman's Poem

Women's Poem

by unknown

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
smacked the shit out of him....

Like his mother used to do!

******************************************

I love a good poem, don't you?!?!

A Rum and Coke

A priest was seated next to a Newfie on a flight to St. John's .

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Newfie asked for a rum & coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the priest if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust ... "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Newfie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"