- A women was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was playing with myself and I shot the dog!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don't get why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!
Friday, March 9, 2012
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
He and his wife decide they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their Dad for a clue.
The dad said ~ "Well, it's what your Mom calls me sometimes."
The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!"
Wednesday, March 7, 2012