Friday, April 29, 2011
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted,
"Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!
"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.
Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said
"Your f****ing brother won't let me in without a tie!"
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
If nothing else makes you laugh today, this one will!
Today's word is................. Fluctuations
I was at my bank today; there was a short line.
There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011