Thursday, May 26, 2011

An Old One But Still Good





Newfie Medical Dictionary


Artery.........................The study of paintings

Bacteria......................Back door to cafeteria


Barium........................What doctors do when patients die


Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section........ A neighbourhood in Rome

Cat scan.......................Searching for Kitty


Cauterize......................Made eye contact with her


Colic........................... A sheep dog

Coma...........................A punctuation mark

Dilate......................... To live long


Enema...........................Not a friend


Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else


Fibula.......................... A small lie


Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known


Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work


Medical Staff................. A Doctor's cane


Morbid......................... A higher offer


Node............................ I knew it


Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted


Pelvis................. ......... Second cousin to Elvis


Post Operative............ A letter carrier


Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery


Rectum......................... Nearly killed him


Secretion...................... Hiding something


Seizure........................ Roman emperor


Tablet.......................... A small table


Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport


Tumour........................ One, plus one more


Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out