Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he
arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the
curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went
flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill
him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered
in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique
wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to
pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive
wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking
most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe
off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on
the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes
falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister
poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the
downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the
kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big
pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and
burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground,
covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull
himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and
pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't
mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"coz the b*****d was wrecking the place"