Monday, April 27, 2009

Men

Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX

(because they are plugged into a genius)

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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

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( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

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And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirtseconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,'What setting do I use on the washing machine?''It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'

And they say blondes are dumb..

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you..'

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out ofthe shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?''Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat himto death. AMEN

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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath andcalling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

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