CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading
it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my
finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the
worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to
see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid
and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach
my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my
exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?